Most of you out here probably don’t know about my stalking situation. It occurred when I was working at the Omaha Police Department. I was working in the Community Resource Center and was helping people with neighborhood problems. On numerous occasions, I helped a man start several neighborhood watches in his neighborhood. And coincidently, his neighborhood was also my neighborhood. Unfortunately, he only lived approximately 6 blocks from my house.
While I was working with him, I had always felt a definite sense of unease but I had to work with him nonetheless as it was a part of my job. Also at the time, I had just begun a separation from my husband. Apparently, this man learned of my situation and decided to make his moves. This is when things crossed the line.
Twice this man entered my home without permission. The first time he was arrested for burglary. The second time I had a restraining order in place and he was arrested for a variety of charges including resisting arrest and stalking. To say I was terrified at the time would be an understatement. Although I worked for the police, they could not protect me 24/7. This was easily the most terrifying time in my life.
Since I had the luxury of being inside the system as well as being a victim, I had access to legal recourse and support that most victims don’t know about. Because of that access, I was able to put into place many safeguards. I knew how to provide the prosecutor’s office with the type of information that would help the judge understand the seriousness of the crime as well as the emotional impact this situation had on me and my family. After my court case, I was able to work with Senator Patrick Bourne to bolster the current Nebraska stalking law that needed strengthening.
While that situation happened many years ago, revisiting it now has reminded me of the terror that it provoked. While the threat is no longer there, the feelings can still make the hair on my arms stand up. But, that’s okay because that allows me to have empathy with victims. I have known their terror but I also knew that someday, my stalking situation would provide me the opportunity to help victims and victim advocates protect themselves better and gain a better understanding of how to use the system to help build their case.
I have recently created a webinar to help victim advocates provide their victims with knowledge and resources to better address their situation. This webinar is a part of my Coaching Practice but it is free to victims experiencing stalking. I hope,through this course, to be able to provide victim advocates with the tools to support their victims and for them to gain a better understanding of stalking and how terrifying stalking really is. This type of terror changes your life and leaves you feeling helpless and out of control of your life. If I can help advocates minimize those feelings for their victims, then my own terrifying case will have served a useful purpose.
If you are being stalked, or know anyone who works with stalking victims, please contact me for more information. In life, we can face adversity at any time. But if we can take that adversity and make something positive out of it, then it won’t be for nothing. I am hoping my situation will do just that.
For more information please email me at [email protected].