I just finished reading a post by Chester Elton, author of the Gratitude Journal. If you aren’t a follower, I recommend you look him up. He will open your eyes to the power of gratitude. In this particular post, Chester mentions that many of us have the automatic habit of deflecting a compliment. He goes on to explain that many times when we received a compliment, we deflect it by downplaying it or by saying things like, well it was a team effort or passing the responsibility to someone else in a false attempt to be humble. In reality what we are doing is telling someone we don’t deserve the compliment and they therefore are mistaken. This seems a rather unkind way to respond to a compliment.
Chester’s article reminded me of a time when I too thought I was being humble and didn’t want to bother someone when they offered to help me. How many times has someone offered to help you, you really could use their help, but you said no thank you because you didn’t want to “bother” anyone? I think we have all been there. What in essence is occurring though, is the denial of allowing someone else to do an act of kindness.
We all know how good it feels to feel appreciated. Yet so often we deny others that feeling by not accepting their help and generosity. Why do we do that? Where did we learn to deflect help? Once you realize that when someone genuinely offers to help you, and you accept their help, you begin to make space for allowing. You are allowing yourself to be helped but even more importantly, you are allowing someone else to spread their kindness and you are allowing them to feel appreciated. This now has become a win-win situation.
As Chester states in his article, the only way to truly accept a compliment is to say thank you. The same thing goes for the next time someone offers to help you and your automatic response is to say no thank you. Instead, consider your act of kindness to be allowing the other person to help you. Afterall, the world needs more kindness. Who are we to deny that?
